Major Confusion

I have never ever been so confused in my entire life. I am, not now, and would never lose faith in my Heavenly Father, but I feel like right now, I am losing faith in myself. All of my life, I have felt one way or another about something and then I did what I felt was right and everything usually worked out in the end. I feel like I have had so many spiritual experiences with the situation that I am dealing with right now, that I would know how it was going to turn out. But I really truly have no idea this time. I just wish so bad that sometimes Heavenly Father would give me a heads up a little bit. I really just don't know what else to say. I am just SO confused. I know that ultimately Heavenly Father knows what is best for us, but sometimes it is so hard going through the pain, of what might be best. I am trying so hard to figure out what I am suppose to be learning from this situation.

In the last few weeks, I have been through one of the best and most amazing experiences of my life. It has also ended up being one of the hardest. But even if it doesn't turn out the way I would want it to, I still wouldn't give this experience up for anything. I do, though, hope so bad that I don't let this experience go away without me knowing why it happened to me. I truly want to learn what I am suppose to learn, but I just don't have any idea what that is. And I really REALLY don't want to have to go through it again, in case I don't learn what I was suppose to the first time. I know for everyone out there who have no idea what I am talking about (and that is most of you) I am sorry not to explain it better. It is just too close to my heart right now, that I feel like I CAN'T post any details about it yet. I don't know if I ever will. I guess if I ever figure out the lesson to be learned, maybe I will share it, when it is easier to talk about. Then maybe someone else can be helped from it too. I don't know.

Well, only time will tell, and only Heavenly Father can give me the answers I seek. I only wish I knew how to listen to Him better, and I wish I had more faith in myself to be able to recognize what those answers are. I really don't know when I will post again. My emotions have been all over the place for over a month now. Maybe when I am a little more stable I will get back into the fun posts again. Until then, I love you all.