Crystal's Funeral

Last night was Crystal's viewing. We went in about an hour before it started so we could spend some time there as a family. It was so difficult watching Crystal's children. I feel so bad for them. There are 5 kids, ages 15 down to 5. I think I am the most worried about her 12 year old son. I think that is the worst age for something like this to happen. Anyone who reads this, please pray for them.

The girl who was driving the car is actually one of my good friends. In the past 5 months she has become VERY close to Crystal and her new husband (as of 2 months ago). It was nice to be able to hear the whole story as to what happened that night. Crystal actually started singing, "I am a Child of God" just before the accident. She said that she felt that her grandmother was there with her. All three of them commented on being able to feel her spirit there with them. Just after that, they got in the wreck. The grandmother that Crystal was talking about was Tommy's dad's mom, Jean. Crystal is named after her. Jean's very favorite song was "I am a Child of God." Knowing all of these things was such a testimony builder. It is so good to know that Heavenly Father never leaves us alone. He ALWAYS has someone there beside us, helping us. I am so glad that Grandma Jean could be there with Crystal when she passed.

Today the funeral was at 11:00 a.m. We were there at 9:30 a.m. to practice a song that we were going to sing at it, and then for the viewing at 10. I have been okay through this whole thing so far. But for some reason during the viewing I was sitting there and Tommy's aunt Karen came up and asked how I was doing. I said, "I just have to get through the opening prayer (which I had to give) and the song and then I can cry." Then she gave me a hug and I completely lost it. I finally just had to leave the room and go to the bathroom. I just cried and cried. I kept wishing that Tommy's other sister, Alison, would come in and be with me, but then I thought, No, that can't happen, because then we'd both break down and neither one of us would be able to sing. I finally pulled it together and went out to my car and got my makeup to do a touch up. When I finished I went back in the viewing room and Tommy saw me. I went over to him and he gave me a hug and I totally lost it AGAIN. I actually pushed him away and said, "You can't hug me right now." Needless to say, I cried through the entire opening prayer. Right after I finished I thought, Oh, crap! I didn't even ask a blessing on all of the speakers. I had to stay up front and wait for my sister-in-laws and a few others who were singing the song with me to come up, so I felt like leaning over to the microphone and saying, "P.S. Please bless the speakers and everyone participating in the service." But, I figured it probably wouldn't be appropriate given the circumstance!

We sang the song, "I Walk by Faith", by Janice Kapp Perry. It went okay at first, then I heard Alison's voice crack and go quiet. Then I lost it. Then our cousin Leslie lost it. I couldn't hear much from Anna (Tommy's youngest sister) or Crystal's daughter Erica. Our cousin Stacy was doing okay, but thank goodness just before hand Jeanne talked aunt Karen into singing with us. By the end of it, I think she is the only one that you could hear singing. I tried REALLY hard to muster up some voice for the ending, but I am not sure it helped. Either way, it was the thought that counts right? At least we tried our best.

After that I was so glad to go sit down and cry my eyes out. Leslie recited a poem that her mother, Peggy, wrote. Her mom is Jeanne's sister. Crystal has had a very difficult life these past few years and from what I knew of her, this poem fit her perfectly.

At the very center of this young one's life
lies a seedling still asleep that struggled with her strife
as life so sometimes alters the beauty of before
and makes it hard to traverse past eyes who would ignore
the tender soul repining that cannot seem to cope
with those her heart encapsulates and with that loses hope
but loves with strong conviction so desperate to be heard
her deepest longings realized by saying not a word..
Quietly she runs amok Oh were, oh where to go?
To the place where life makes sense the outward not to show
so fly she does and homeward bound to Father who sees all
as crystal clear --- as Crystal dear and never more to fall

Aunt Peggy

I wish I could explain it the way Jeanne does, but it really just made so much sense to me. Peggy is such a wonderful poet. After that Alison and Anna gave Crystal's Life Sketch. Back when Crys was 15 she wrote her own life sketch for a class in school. Jeanne found it and we thought it would be cool to use a lot of it in their talk, just because it would be in Crystal's own words. It really was pretty neat, and I think the girls did a great job getting through it. After that, all of Crystal's younger kids and their cousins sang, "I am a Child of God". I kept puting my hand to my ear and motioning for all of the kids to sing loud so we could hear them. Tyra was standing right by the microphone and may have been the only one that saw me doing this, but when the music started, she burst out...."LEAD ME, GUIDE ME..." about this time, she realized that everyone else were singing different words then her. All of the kids started laughing. Several people in the audience did too, but most were trying hard not too. Tommy's other aunt Karen was playing the piano and got them back on track. The rest of the song was really sweet. It actually was really nice having Tyra do that because it seemed to lighten the mood a little bit, and it really was quite funny. Probably, mainly because she has the most off key voice I have ever heard come out of a 6 year old. I'd say she gets that from me, but it can't be genetic in our family!

Then Tommy spoke. At the end, he told the story of his conversion. Basically when and how he gained a true testimony. It was such a sweet story and I ALWAYS love to hear it. He did cry a little bit. Alison said it's about time. I don't know if he really is just doing okay with all of this, or if he is just holding it all in. It's hard to tell. Men always seem to deal with these things so differently then women. I do hope that he is okay.

Tom and Jeanne and some of their brothers, sisters and in laws sang "Abide With Me Tis' Eventide". They practiced all of about a total of 30 seconds earlier in the day, and it sounded beautiful. Towards the end Jeanne started to cry a little bit but she recovered nicely. All of their voices blend so well together. They really did a good job. Then Jade (Tommy's brother) and Crystal's Bishop spoke. They did good jobs too. We sang, "God Be With You Till We Meet Again" as the closing song. Melissa (Jade's wife) said the closing prayer.

It was terribly windy at the grave sight. Tom dedicated the grave. After almost everyone left, Tom took some pictures. We got some of the whole family. If I can get some copies from him, I will post them when I do. Then we went back to the church for a luncheon. The food was great but I was just beat. The worst thing is, is the kids still had there first soccer games to go to at 6:30 and 7:30 p.m. I will put that in another post though. I ordered a copy of the video of Crystal that played at the viewing. When I get it, I will post a link, for anyone that would like to watch it. It has been a really LONG day.